Dear Spikey,

It's been 5 days since you've left me and this living world I assume you're on your way to the doggie heaven and must be crossing the rainbow bridge now

Earlier today, we bid you the final goodbye in Haridwar you've never been out of Delhi so you might not know this place it's a place where we did your Asthi-Visarjan to help your soul reach its next destination and complete this journey to heaven with less pain and suffering. We waited for Ujjwal to do this ritual as he couldn't be a part of your cremation the day you died.  Trust me. baby it was painful to let you go but we had to do what was needed.

I am missing you every second since the moment you've left.

I know you were sick and tired in your last days and I tried to do everything I could to make you stay a little longer.

I am sorry if I failed you in any way I have loved you more than anybody in this world I hope you know You were my first real friend, the love of my life, my bestie I am thankful that I had you in my life you were the one who made me understand the real meaning of unconditional love you were indeed a true companion They say you can never forget your first I guess they say it right You were our first pet and we can never be able to forget you

You loved us despite our flaws, you loved us even on days we didn’t love ourselves.

I still remember the day we got you home Thanks to Ujjwal for convincing mumma to let us keep you I wish you know how much drama he created haha it was all worth.

You were honestly the best thing happened to our family and especially to me.

I am sorry that you couldn't meet all of the family members before you left the world Trust me the moment I realised you won't stay long I wanted to take you home so that you could meet mumma but I am glad she met you before we left for the hospital you know she don't really pet you like the way she did that day I think she knew you won't make it back home again. I wish Ujjwal would have been there too to hug you and pet you one last time or just to see you I wanted to make you meet everyone who you loved Di Jiju and Nia,  you know Nia kisses your pictures every time we show it to her. Di has cried a lot since you've left Ujjwal doesn't show his emotions openly but I know he's hurt badly I've heard him sobbing as we know you held onto life long enough for him to come back from Ladakh, because you knew you couldn’t leave this world without saying goodbye to him but I know you had to leave as your time had come and I know you couldn't wait

I am sorry that I cried in front of you, I am sorry if that made you weak but trust me I couldn't control. Thanks to Di for making me stop and I let you leave in peace. I remember you were smiling when you looked at me the last time. When I held you in my arms that evening I could see that you weren’t present anymore, It broke my heart when I couldn't feel your heart beat.

After coming back to the vet, I kept your body down and stood there like a statue for minutes before I made calls. It was the worst news I have ever delivered to anyone and I didn't had words to say I stayed at the hospital for about an hour before we made a move.

Simran came along with me to take you to the cremation place where Jiju and Deepak were already waiting. we could have buried you in a ground just like every other pet parent does but you were more than a baby to us and we wanted to follow the hindu ritual to make it easier for you find a clear path to the heaven. 

Jiju took me to meet Di and Nia, as I was too grief-stricken to go back home on my own. All of us came back home the same night to be with mumma in this hard time as she was the one who used to spend her entire day in your presence. It's extremely painful for her to cope up with this loss and Baby, you won’t believe it, but Papa said he cried too for you. Yes papa, who never really showed much affection towards you and we always thought you're just a dog to him he cried too just for you.

Every single day after you've left are incredibly tough on all of us. For the first time in 14 years we had to come back to an empty house, with no wagging tail to greet us.

You were like a baby to me. I met you when I was teenager. You were there with me when I had no friends and no one to love. You were a miracle child as you've survived so much in life, the tumour you got around your gums when you were young. You were one of the 1% of dogs who survive a deadly disease DISTEMPER.

In the course of 13+ years you survived so many diseases and honestly I was hoping you'd survive this too but you didn't. You were a strong girl and never really bothered us with your suffering and we want to tell you that we are proud of you, baby.

You were the sweetest dog Spikey, so obedient and so beautiful, your eyes were the best part of your looks and the way you used to look at us made our heart melts every time. You were the smile on my face a little cuddle session with you used to fix up all my broken heart. You made us all so happy and filled our lives with so much love. 

So many people are sad about you, baby. I want you to know that you were loved by an incredible amount of humans.

We will never forget you Spikey, please don't forget us too. I hope you reborn again and find a way to meet me soon.

I love you so much my little girl forever and always.

your human

xo, Dixika

Hello everyone, Hope you're having a good day wherever you are.

For those of you who are reading my blog for the first time and doesn't know about Spikey let me tell you about her a bit.

She was an almost 14 years old Japanese Spitz Cross Breed dog born on 18th December 2004 in New Delhi and living with me and my family since 29th January 2005 She died on 30th May 2018 around 5 in the evening in my arms because of multiple reasons but merely because of her old age.

It's said that a life span of a small to medium breed dogs of Spitz type is 10 to 14 years and Spikey was 13 years 5 months and 12 days old. They are said to be one of the longest-lived dog breeds in the world.

Considering this fact , we were somehow mentally prepared for this time to come. However it's never easy to let go of someone you've loved and grew up with, she was an essential part of our lives just like any other member of the family or maybe more. Even if she would have died after completing 14 years the pain we're going through now would have been no less.

I think one can never be prepared for the loss of life but we all must accept the passage of time, one way or another, and the best thing that any of us can do for ourselves and our dogs is to prepare for the end as much as we can.

As Spikey was sick, I did a lot of research over the Internet to understand her behaviour and be prepared for what's next to come and I came across so many blogs talking about the signs a dog gives when their time is coming and now when I look back and think about the last week when Spikey was ill she did show most of these signs and I would like to share with you what I learned.

The signs dogs give us when it’s time to say goodbye:

1) Issues with Body Balance/Coordination:

This was the first sign she showed Dis-balance of her legs it started with her hind legs they were exceptionally weak. I took an appointment with her doctor for the next morning. She couldn't walk at all and the condition got worse in a matter of a night. The next morning the weakness got to her forelegs and she was unable to stand even with support she was falling down, I knew something was wrong I took her to the vet and started her treatment as these symptoms can be dangerous or even life threatening.

There could be other reasons why this is happening to your dog so, If your pooch is showing Lack of coordination or is falling down call your vet immediately.

2) Incontinence: 

This is another signal that your dog’s internal organs are shutting down. They no longer have energy to move around even when they have to pee and that made her condition even worse She has never peed inside the house not even when she was a pup until this year, so, this situation made her uncomfortable even more.

Pay close attention to your dog's behaviour when they're lying at one place for an usual amount of time.

3) Loss of Apetitite:

Spikey had a healthy appetite even when she was sick earlier she used to enjoy her meals she could literally eat all day and she used to drink a lot of water. Although she was on drips for past few days she was still showing interest in her favourite food she loved eating boiled potatoes milk and rice and her favourite was Pedigree Chicken gravy with bread however a day before she died she wasn't eating or drinking. Initially I though it's because of the medical treatment but the next day she refused to even drink water or milk. We knew something was drastically wrong with he, I tried to feed her milk with the help of a syringe but she wasn't gulping it down. I took her to the vet and the doctor gave her the necessary treatment but also asked me to be prepared for the worst. 

It is not necessary that just the loss of appetite is a sign of your dog is dying but it was in her case With that being said, there are times when your dog's appetite can drop, and they resist eating even when you offer them their favourite food reasons could be many. Keep a check on your dog's behaviour and consult with your vet for better understanding.

4) Heavy Breathing:

While I was taking her to the vet on the day she died, she started to have difficulty in breathing, her breathing was uneven, and extremely heavy with lengthy gaps between inhaling and exhaling. I could see her having a hard time doing it. I was in grief and denial and wanted to take her to the vet at the earliest to have everything possible done to save her. However I knew in my gut that it wouldn’t make a difference. The vet injected her with fewmedicines, which helped her relax. 

5) Prolonged Lethargy/Disinterest:

Although this is the most common sign that the dying process of your dog has begun but Spikey didn't showed it, might be because her legs weren't functioning and she had no choice but lay at one place throughout the day. It was really painful to see her like that and I tried to ease her pain by sitting close to her all the time offering her food and water time to time and changing her spot every few hours.

Sometimes dogs can become lethargic due to other health issues, but if you have ruled this out and it lasts more than a day, it may be a sign your dog is ready to say goodbye.

When Spikey showed these signs (1-4) I couldn't understand the reason then but I do now she was preparing us in her own way. However, coming to the realisation that your beloved dog is dying will never be an easy ordeal and all you could do is to be with them during their final days.Try and comfort them, talk to them, pat and hug them again and again. Dogs are extremely sensitive to human emotions and if you're stressed or anxious they will know it, try to be strong and smile in front of them as that's the last thing you'd want your furry friend to feel.

If your dog is beginning to experience these symptoms, then it is likely that your dog is showing you signs that it is time for them to pass on. 

However, this could also be a sign of an unrelated illness or condition, so seek out your veterinary care if you are in doubt to rule out all possibilities and give yourself some peace of mind either way.

If you have tried everything to save your pooch and nothing is working and  you notice that he or she is in constant pain, it might be time to consider a medical choice to end his or her suffering. Your veterinarian might give you an option to Put your dog to sleep. No one wants to watch their dog die before its time, but in cases of great suffering or terminal illness, euthanasia is often the most humane choice for both your dog and yourself. Gladly, I didn't had to make this choice with Spikey as she died peacefully at her own given time. But, talk to your family if this is what you had to do, remember that as difficult as it is to make this decision for your pet, you need to do what is in your dog's best interest (not yours).
 

Before I finish this post, I would like to thank PETS PLANET INDIA for being there for us during this crucial time and letting me set the pace after Spikey was gone.

The Doctor and his team were extremely caring, patient and sympathetic. Special Thanks to Dr. Vishal's wife Kanika for your kindness and the help, I will forever be grateful for what you did for me and Spikey.

Also, for the cremation we chose PAWS TO HEAVEN (Fees: 3000/-) and we did her Asthi Visarjan in the Ganges River at Har Ki Pauri, Haridwar, India.

I would also like to thank you guys for showing your concern, love and condolences. Thanks to all those who kept our baby in their prayers, I am grateful to each one of you. 

until next time

Love & Luck Always

Miss D