"The answers you seek never comes when your mind is busy, they come when your mind is still."
Happy Monday my dear readers, I am back with another coffee talk session with you all. Today I wanted to talk to you guys about something that I am currently practicing and which has helped me recover from stress and anxiety because I truly believe if you're happy from from the inside, it reflects on your outside. I won't say I am in a peaceful state of mind all the time, I do fall off the track every once in a while but I am committed to have a healthy mind and soul and I know it's not an easy task, it takes dedication and commitment, this is an ongoing process, it's not like you'll just wake up one day and your stress switch is off and you'll feel peaceful and happy instantly. No that's not going to happen, It's something that you have to practice every single day. Remind yourself of what's important in your life, what matters to you and what not. Who are the people and what are the things that brings your real happiness.
Here are my 5 tips, you can also call them exercises to help you heal yourself from this sickness and feel better.
1. LEARN TO LET GO
"You only struggle because you're ready to grow but aren't willing to let go."
You should know that you can't control everything. Sometimes you just need to relax and have faith that things will work out eventually. I know it's easier said than done but you have to make a conscious decision to let go of anything and everything that's hurting you or not contributing in your betterment. So it's you who has the power to accept what it is and Let go of any guilt or anger you have against anyone or anything in particular. Let go of someone you love and have lost, friends who you thought will be there with you through thick and thin or maybe a family member you thought will be there for you 24/7. Letting go doesn't mean you cut connection with them, it's just that you need to stop investing your thoughts and emotions into someone if they're not able to reciprocate it for any reason. Accept that some people are meant to be in your life for a limited time, let them go and make room for new people to come in your life, consider it as a life cycle.
For example : Don't stick to labels like 'Oh she used to be my best friend and now we don't talk to each other, but she has to be my best friend, so I should push myself to be best friend with her again' You know what, sometimes no matter what you do or how much efforts you put in, if something is not meant to be, it won't be. So stop hurting yourself and embrace the fact that you used to be Best friends, it's fine if you're not anymore, cherish the memories you have together and just let go.' I am not saying you should just let go of your loved ones because something happened between you both. Set your limits, don't just keep on trying to bring life to a dead relationship. Trust me god knows who belongs in your life and who doesn't and Yes letting go doesn't mean giving up, there's a thin line of difference in both, let's keep it simple and say that Giving up is SELF-DEFEAT and Letting go is SELF-CARE. So trust your gut, trust God and let go. Do this exercise - write down your first 5s - first 5 people you count on, first 5 things in your priority list, first 5 things that brings you happiness, all you need to do is focus on the first 5s and let go of the rest. Trust me this is going to help you so much to understand what's important and what's not.
2. WRITE IT DOWN
"Sometimes we express ourselves better in writing than out loud."
Writing is a form of therapy, it's really healthy to do a brain dumb on a piece of paper, if there's something bothering you and you don't feel like talking about it or telling it to someone, just take out a piece of paper and write it down, stay true and write whatever that comes to your mind, all the negative thoughts, write down exactly what and how you feel, don't put any filters, get it all out of your head and heart, you can just crush the paper once you're done, or maintain a journal and start writing everyday, it's such a beneficial exercise to do.
Sometimes it's really hard to explain to someone how you feel, maybe because at times we don't find the exact words to make someone understand our thoughts and vision, what exactly we want to say. I often write in my journal or if I want to talk to someone I prefer texting than calling, I find it more convenient. So my dear friends I would request you to write it down don't keep things inside your heart, sort this clutter of thoughts on a piece of paper than your mind and make room for all the positive thoughts.
3. BE GRATEFUL
"Stop complaining about what you don't have, and be thankful about what you do have."
Take a moment to appreciate all that you have in your life, all of us at times fall off the wagon and take things for granted, we no longer pay attention to a lot of things we are happy about. You may not have all the things you want in life and it's perfectly fine to have a desire and want more from life for your growth but if you won't take time once in a while to reflect on all the things you already have, we often loose track of what's important, we will never be satisfied and will run to achieve something bigger and better. I would urge you all to do this Gratitude exercise every once in a while. It might sound cliche but trust me it is really helpful.
Close your eyes and say THANK YOU, Thank you for this great life I have, Thank you for a warm and safe place to sleep and call home, and realise that not everyone has that. Say Thank You for being able to get an education and being able to work and make a living. Mention all the things you have and accomplished, big or small and allow yourself to truly feel grateful. Now go deeper and say Thank you for your family, for people who care about you and love you and appreciate that, Thank you that you have friends who stand by you through thick and thin, they maybe 1 or more, say that you're grateful for them to be there in your life. Try and recall all the moments that bought you real joy and happiness. Now say Thank you for the person you are, for the qualities and talents you have, all those you were born with and the ones you're yet to discover, and realise that you're unique in your own way, you have so much to offer to this world and there's no other like you. Sometimes you might feel anxious, sometimes sad and sometimes you might feel inadequate but you should know that these are all natural human emotions and they should not define you. Please acknowledge the fact that no one's perfect not you either, that you have flaws. say that you don't want to be perfect, because that is an emotion that does not exist.
Say that you like myself and every part of you, all strengths and weaknesses as they all help you grow and make you a better person, Say Thank you for making you the way you are, that you accept yourself, you love yourself.
(Inspired by JBittersweet)
"The goal of meditation isn't to control your thoughts, it's to stop letting them control you."
This is something I've been wanting to do for so long but never really got a hang of it, I am still not 100% into it, however I have taken a 30 Days Meditation Challenge, and it has honestly made my thought process much better, I feel focused and my thoughts are clear. We all know that meditation is a practice that benefits us in more way than we can list down, some of them are a better health- physical & mental, it helps us relax and focus, your body feels light, and thoughts clear. These are some of the many advantages of Meditation. It's a lifelong practice and I am just a beginner at it, it takes dedication and patience, so if you mediate and loose focus in between it's completely fine, don't give up give yourself time and be consistent, even if you find yourself distracted, keep on going and promise yourself that you'll give this a chance, everything takes time, we all know it very well. So to improve your mental health, I would urge you take this 30 days Meditation challenge and tell me if you see any difference.
Just one tip keep your phone on silent mode, that's the biggest distraction.
"Work on being in love with the person in the mirror who has been through so much but is still standing."
It is so important to pay attention to self, we often neglect ourself in order to keep everyone around us happy, Its said that it's important to love yourself first before you love your life or love anyone else. If you won't give to yourself, you will not be able to give to others. Make it a goal to embrace what you are and love yourself regardless of your imperfections and flaws. Nourish the most important relationship in your life, your relationship with yourself, nurture it with care. Love yourself first and everything else will fall in place, they say it right only love can heal a wounded soul, so if you're hurt or you feel unloved, get up and make a goal to love yourself more than you love anybody else, because designing a beautiful life begins with Self love which also boost your self confidence, self respect, self worth and self forgiveness, do not ever underestimate it's power.
Pamper yourself, take yourself out on a self date, maybe gift yourself something that you wanted to buy for a long time, make a list of things you love about yourself, maybe the way you look or the way you treat other people. In order to love yourself you have to embrace what you are as a whole, love your strengths and your weaknesses, make a list of your flaws, things you're not at all good at, accept that not everyone is perfect, we all have certain flaws and that's what makes us all unique, so start embracing them, respect yourself and remind yourself that you're beautiful. I think that I am my biggest critic, my biggest hater. I don't judge other people but I do judge myself a lot. I am working on it and I request you to stop doing it, love yourself the way you would love someone else, you deserve it, if you want to keep yourself at priority, do it. Tell yourself that you love yourself, you're imperfect and that's okay. I have a really low self esteem, I might look really really confident and outspoken in my pictures but trust me I struggle so much to keep up my confidence level, but I keep on trying to make things better, and recently I have realised the importance of self love, keeping a routine to care for yourself, maintaining a skin care regime, eating healthy and dressing up everyday are some options that I have introduced in my life and honestly I have felt the difference. When I love myself I tend to love everything around me, it makes me feel so much more positive. So I urge you all to start taking care of yourself quite more than you do for others. Do whatever helps you to stay happy, and do it often.
I hope these tips were helpful to you, please share this post if you think it might help someone else as well. Let me know in the comments below if you could relate to any of it, or what you do to stay happy and maintain that inner peace. I would love to know.
I will be back with another coffee talk next Monday, leave in suggestions if you have any.